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(written for the 60th birthday of Dr Don Weed, and sung to a tune by Arthur Sullivan borrowed from The Pirates of Penzance‘)

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He is the perfect pattern of a pioneering pedagogue
He punctuates his points with Larson pranks and gets us all agog
He praises FM and AR, those paragons invincible
And propagates the purple art of their primary principle
All together now: “The relationship of the head to the body is the key to ease and freedom of movement!”

To prejudice he’s putting paid by pulling down past paradigm
sa feat peformed with latent powers original released betimes
His purpose is perfection facing down perverse cosmologies
the key to resurrection at the root of our pathologies
The potential is parabolic!

Though if sleek Greek physique you seek he’s not the pure epitome
you’ll find him in the gym all night to trim and slim and fitter be
Those pecs and quads will beat the odds, no athlete his superior
and those that try end up sem-i supine on their posterior
It’s the process, not the product!

Three cheers now for our Wizard Wise made man yet no mere mortal beau
– with well timed pics and MP3s our peerless iPod portal. So
they say a Weed without a Plant will win but scant inspection (doh!)
– a Don without his Gor’s a foot without its plantar flexion (yo!)
But if you sow them, they won’t half seed!

It’s not a game but such a shame Don lives not much more proximal
To end gain in their arrow-plane the crew conspire to fox him.  All
dismiss his passport Swiss, but let him in when they get Carnegied.
Less than good use has no excuse – he’s taught them all they need to heed
That’s what you call “passive motion”
If you got visa problems, just call on the Peroneus brothers: Longus, Brevis and Tertius

You are the perfect pattern and our dear daredevil Dumbledore

We hope this simple song will seal your sixty years and then some more
We, thanks to you, know what to do if there’s room for improvement: per-
severe and study thinking in relation to our movement, Sir!

Happy Birthday, Don! Hurrah!